When Gramma said, “I’ve made some potato salad”, the proper response was, “I’ll be right over”.
read more ...
I had the new bicycle for less than a day, and I wondered if I had made a mistake.
read more ...
An identity crisis is nothing that a new bike can't solve.
read more ...
We don’t do a lot of entertaining - partly because we’re a couple of quiet introverts, and partly because it’s awkward asking our guests to listen to each other use the bathroom.
read more ...
I climbed into the same Chevy Suburban that my wife had disappeared in an hour earlier. We turned onto a dirt road directly behind the convenience store and climbed a steep hill.
When the tourists spotted her and realized what they were looking at, they’d stop and point and talk to each other in German, Hindi, Korean and Arabic. It’s a poignant moment when you see people of other nationalities react that way.
It felt more like it was passing through me than by me and I ducked my head, spilled the beer, and said some words you don’t say in church. It was gone as quickly as it came.
The crowd at the counter spills out the door and into the street making it nearly impossible to get in or out, but with their mix of English banter and Italian insults, the red shirts keep the line moving so nobody has to wait very long.
The last call in that two-hour span came at 3:22 p.m. After that, it’s likely that he lost interest, and just as likely that he was too drunk to operate the phone.
Will today be the day I set a new personal record? I’ve already walked the route, assessing the conditions - noting the obstacles. The weather is good. I’m hydrated. I like my chances.
read more ...
The stoplight ahead turns red and I’m saved for a moment. We stand there, each one exaggerating our nonchalance, trying not to breathe too heavy or lean on the bike as a sign of weakness.
read more ...
I don’t know whether it’s our fault that the globe is warming or not. But there’s a short-sightedness on the side of the climate-change deniers …
read more ...
... if you stay in theater long enough, you’ll eventually get cast in a part where you have to sing or take off your shirt, and I wasn’t gonna do either of those things in front of people.
read more ...
It is a universal truth. Maybe it is the universal truth. It transcends religion and supercedes science. It’s truer than a natural law because you don’t have to learn it or prove it.
read more ...
A year ago I tried to start a new thing at our Wednesday night church service - I suggested that we just say “excel-LENT” and do a fist bump. It hasn't caught on.
read more ...
I remember wondering why adults moved so slowly, and then I became an adult and I lost the run, too. The run just atrophied away like playing the piano and remembering grocery lists and other things I used to be able to do.
He’s not melodramatic, or frantic or panicked as I imagine I would be. He just talks about the dying journey in the same tones of one who is doing something interesting for the first time, and learning as he goes.
You can’t just say, “From now on you have to have the beans, you have to like the beans and you have to pay for the beans”, because eventually the Texans will tell you what you can do with your beans.
One of the guys let it slip that he was both a Democrat and a union member … and the howls of derision began. Accusations of treason, laziness and communism were thrown at him, along with some popcorn, ice cubes, and a few potato chips.
read more
